Mediation

In deadlocked situations, people talk to each other differently if they ask a third person to moderate the conversation. Behind opposing positions there is usually a deeper, more hidden issue, the understanding of which is the key to finding a solution. The mediator's special "language" makes it possible to gently make this more transparent.

Thanks to our intensive training as mediators, we are able to get to the bottom of the most important causes in just a few hours and, building on this, take the first steps towards a solution. My job is to ensure a fair discussion that is far better than a dispute and in which you don't have to relive the bad experience. I will get you talking in the right order and with the right wording so that you can take a better look at the situation and relax internally. My approach focuses on identifying interests and needs as well as the dynamics of the interaction. I use systemic approaches for this. Mediation can take 2-5 appointments or longer.

Legal basics can be found in the German mediation law, the associated legislative decree (both in German) and at the Bundesverband Mediation website.


How does mediation work?

How does it all start? In an initial consultation, we determine the framework conditions for mediation. A phone call is sufficient, but we can also arrange a Zoom call: Is your case suitable for mediation? Who is really interested in mediation? Who pays for and commissions it, who is involved...? If possible, you should already know that the other party is also interested, because as a mediator, I cannot convince them. If the client is not part of the conflict themselves, e.g., the employer is paying for a team, we check whether the principles of voluntary participation and confidentiality can be upheld as far as possible. This is the only way mediation can work. We then arrange an initial meeting with the people involved in the conflict.

How do we ensure that we can work together? In an initial preliminary meeting, I will lay out some principles and groundrules of mediation, and we see whether everyone present really wants to work within this framework and with one another.  

Is such a process binding? To ensure that mediation is effective, we agree on the number of sessions after the preliminary meeting and draw up a mediation contract of approximately one page, which is signed. Therefore, yes, it is binding. At the same time mediation is voluntary and can be stopped at any time. 

What do you do to ensure that we can communicate despite tensions? Good question! On the one hand, I ensure fairness, e.g., by giving everyone exactly the same amount of speaking time, which I monitor to ensure compliance. On the other hand, you talk to me first, while the other person(s) sit(s) and listen(s). I will listen to you empathetically, and those who are not speaking can take notes so that they don't forget what they want to say about the points raised. There is also the option of one-on-one conversations. In addition, I use various techniques to support you and gradually bring you into conversation with each other. 

What are ground rules and principles? Principles: personal responsibility, voluntary participation, confidentiality, and the mediator's impartiality. Rules of the game: respectful listening—no interruptions; speak for yourself; refrain from using coarse language; regular attendance at meetings.

What do you do to remain truly impartial? Firstly, my education, training, and personal experience have given me an understanding of conflict that means I don't look for someone to blame, but instead examine the complexity of the causes and accept each individual. That doesn't mean agreeing with everything said, but approaching every point of view with understanding. With my analysis and communication tools, I maintain a professional distance and can help to reveal another level of the conflict, which in the best case can lead to a turning point. I also reflect on the mediations in supervision or intervision groups in order to obtain feedback and professional opinions from third parties.

How do you ensure that the agreed outcomes are implemented at the end of mediation? This is the responsibility of the parties involved in the conflict BUT... there is assistance available. In addition to an action plan that the parties develop together at the end, there is the option of a written, legally valid agreement that can be deposited with a lawyer or notary. Another option is a follow-up meeting. 


Initial consultation or questions? Feel free to get in touch!